Scrooged?!

aka,  Conflictor!

We all know one:

1. "Conflictors" know something about everything, just enough to be dangerous.

2. Disagree with you on everything, in a passive aggressive manner.

3. Challenge your knowledge, in a condescending manner.

4. Devalues your time, while their time is precious.

5. Tells you others are not team players, while stabbing you in the back.

6. Creates a positive facade, and then is negative about your positivity.

7. A "Conflictor" is always right, and if you try to prove them wrong...you will become mentally exhausted.

Bottom line; a "Conflictor" is a predator. When you are up they will get you down. And will you are down, they will take you deeper.

When a "Conflictor", by no choice of yours, tries to ruin your Holiday Season...do not try to handle them alone. One on one they will drain you. Bond together with people you trust and eventually the "Conflictor"  aka Scrooge, will get frustrated and move on to other prey.

Never a Stupid Question, Right?

A collection of  "Really?!" one-liners,  business owners or potential business owners have shared with me in my free consultation sessions. Many became clients and I have helped them. The rest? Oh well,  I hope they found help somewhere.

Here we go...

"Do I really need a logo and branding, I thought only big businesses had that."

"Well, I want to make more money but I don't trust people."

"Do I have a vision and mission statement for my business? Not at all, do I need one?"

"I really don't plan too much or even have a strategic plan...I kinda just see how things happen."

"I want to open a restaurant because I love to cook, I'm a hard worker, and I have the support of my family...isn't that enough?"

"No, I have never worked in retail, but this new franchise opportunity this guy was talking about sounds great!"

" ...not sure if my business is up or down from last year, but I do know my bills are getting paid."

"What's a target market?"

"My point of difference? I offer great service."

"There is enough free help out there...I don't need to pay for it."

"What measurements do I have in place?...they are all right here (as he pointed to his head)."

" What is horizontal growth?"

"I have more clients then I can handle...I don't need any help."

I have so many more I can share, but you get the point. Now I admit, when I started my own business five years ago I said some of the same things, that is why I hired a coach...enough said.

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Family: A Leadership Core Value

When it comes to core values,  "family" needs to be in your top three in order to be a successful leader.

Here are 5 reasons why:

1. Family teaches you the importance of teamwork.

2. Family helps you model servant leadership.

3. Responsibility and loyalty are derived from family experiences.

4. Discipline, within a family,  accelerates action and develops motivational skills.

5. Family traditions are the foundation of what leadership is all about, people and giving.

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CEO of Your Life

***Please welcome my guest blogger, Maripat Abbott***

Create and Share your Transition Vision – Be the CEO of Your Life

A traditional leadership coach is someone who helps others sharpen their leadership skills in the corporate or entrepreneurial world. That is not my mission. I help my clients to become the CEOs of their life, empowering them to give themselves that promotion.

In my experience, most of us have somehow sublimated our CEO title – given our power over to someone or something else. It saddens me when I can clearly hear that a person has been demoted – or put on severance – not by a company, but by themselves.

I most often see people demote themselves during times of major life transitions like a health challenge, a job loss or change, a relationship status change, pregnancy or any other large life events. During times of transition, fear and resistance to the unknown can begin to dominate,  which can cause us to lose our power.

So how can we avoid losing our CEO title during the transitions in our life? How do we trust that there is no candidate better than ourselves to lead us through? How can we remember that we are the single most qualified one to lead our life?

One helpful tool is to create a powerful vision statement that outlines how you intend to run the company of YOU during this transition. Then you must communicate that clearly to your support system of family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances, who are in essence a part of your company.

Like a CEO, you respectfully require that your community understand and follow your vision statement so that the company of YOU thrives throughout this transition and you do not lose your primary relationship – the one with yourself.  This is always your number one job.

Your vision statement and request might sound something like this: “I am in the midst of… [changing jobs, getting divorced, selling my home, opening a new business] and am very optimistic about the ultimate outcome. I need you to hold this vision with me and remind me when I forget.”

Your primary goal is to maintain your leadership role without being forced into a severance package from your own life.

Maripat Abbott

Executive Relocation Coach

Certified Life Coach

Certified Yoga Instructor

Phone: 630-708-RELO

Email: mp@HolisticRelo.com

Website: HolisticRelo.com

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10 Identifiers of Leadership

1. Leaders have passionate enthusiasm! Attitudes are contagious and team “leaders” understand that they are role models.

2. Leaders model the company’s values and “walk the talk.”

3. Leaders pull their teams up the hill, face them and don’t turn their backs.
"old-school managers" push employees up the hill.

4. Leaders are not necessarily the best talent, they are skilled at recognizing and utilizing talent.

5. Leaders develop others, place a high value on the “we,” and discourage the “I.”

6. Leaders know when to let other and better “leaders” lead... when the situation demands it.

7. Leaders listen and provide positive reinforcement and constructive feedback.

8. Leaders turn problems into opportunities.

9. Leaders understand that everyone falls, but not everyone fails.

10. At the end of the day... managers may think about the tasks that were completed, leaders reflect on the people that completed the tasks.

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Questions? Well...I'm Not Sure What To Ask.

Do you have any questions?

What questions do you have?

We all do this. Whether it's a kind gesture, a teaching situation, a closing tactic, etc. its a general practice we all do.

That's the problem, it's too general!  And the main reason why most people respond with, "no questions at this time" is because they are not sure what to ask.

We need to be more specific by giving them memory joggers. Below are some examples of providing memory joggers, guaranteed to generate more questions. (examples are from many different types of situations, business and personal.)

***What questions do you have about:
- cost?
- warranty?
- commissions?
- benefits?
- next steps?
- side effects?
-deadline?
- troubleshooting?
- results?
- the agenda?
- your responsibilities?

I'm sure there are many more, but you get the drift.

Call to action- the next time you ask , "What questions do you have? "
Remember- Specific is Terrific!

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TEAM- What Hat Do You Wear?

Team dynamics fundamentally never change.
Yesterday I was reading an article about team dynamics, first published in the 1940s. Though the experts, yesterday and even today, don't agree on exactly how many roles there are and how to name them, 10 general personality types are consistently identified.

I personally witnessed this at BNI Leadership Training last week in several team exercises I facilitated.

*Here they are:

1. Task Leader. May or may not be the designated leader; a nuts and bolts, roll-up-the-sleeves-and-get-busy-type.
2. Social-emotional leader. Concerned with emotional heartbeat of the group; good at solving interpersonal problems.
3. Tension-releaser. "Breaks the ice" with appropriate humor at the right moment.
4. Information provider. Has research skills that stand out above all others. Could end up doing unfair amount of work.
5. Central negative. Always plays the devil's advocate role in discussions but in a non-threatening manner.
6. Questioner. Constantly seeks clarification and more information.
7. Silent observer. Speaks little, observing and taking in all information. When he or she speaks up, people listen.
8. Active listener. Listens attentively, sums up others' points of view. Good for keeping discussion on track.
9. Recorder. Has good recording skills and little interest in participating in group discussion.
10. Self-centered follower. Constantly questions opinions is a non-supportive way. Unlike the central-negative person, the self-centered follower is concerned only about personal interests.

So...which one are you?, or are you several?

For more team dynamic and leadership wisdom,  please read my book---

Pecan Pie: 32 Business Success Strategies Passionately Baked To Order!
"A must read!" Ivan Misner New York Times Bestselling author
BY IT NOW on AMAZON.COM  click on link below
Click here to purchase Bob's Book

* Teamwork notes
“Copyright (9-23-12) by Robert V Gambone Sr.”
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